![]() ![]() The ants, man, the ants! Suddenly I felt that a lot of this terrifying effect had to do with David Attenborough’s voice. I thought: forget about the Russians, forget about the crazy guy from North Korea, about ISIS, the day the ants turn against us, I hope humanity comes together for one last celebration because we will be no match for the fucking ants.Īnd at least we owe ourselves as a species one last good party before being devoured by all the ants that exist in every inch of this planet. I chose to stay with the original voiceover in English (I don’t like listening to dubbing) and out of nowhere, I was in the middle of a gigantic, almost unimaginable plot of… Ants! My God!, ants everywhere planning something that was surely disastrous. But immediately a catastrophe occurred: the narrator’s voice pulled me out of the magic of the anchovies… it was a voice that disintegrated the ethereal moment… the voice of Sir David Frederick Attenborough. And here everything exploded: wonderful images of anchovies swimming as if it were a ceremonial waltz in the peace of the ocean…and with just that image I was hooked. what kind of program could cause those reactions? I went straight to the source, right to the episode she was watching. ![]() I asked her what she was watching and she told me about Netflix’s Our Planet. Recently (yes, I was very late to the premiere like years) while on the phone, I heard my lady friend laughing and feeling excited, caring and loving. I hadn’t seen a nature documentary in a long time. But why did Our Planet 2, which already enjoys overwhelmingly rave reviews around the world, appall me so much? It all started here You can expect as much from a documentary about animal life on planet Earth as from a porn movie: the eternal repetition of scenes, movements, gasps, orgasms, rudeness, subtlety, where only the actors change: but in the end always we will see a lion waiting for the buffaloes to eat them elephants suffering, penguins walking funny because, like all animals that live where ice used to abound, their lives have become a harrowing struggle to survive. The popcorn is over and I don’t know how else to curse Netflix for ruining what was supposed to be an orgiastic evening a subtle mix of wonderful images of animal life everywhere on Earth and the sensual, hypnotic and exciting company of two of the most desirable women in the world: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.īut Netflix has doomed its four-part docuseries Our Planet II because of an incomprehensible voiceover catastrophe, starting with the literally dying voice of Sir David Frederick Attenborough. ![]() Bottom line: the night is going very badly. What should be an earthy scene about billions of baby red crabs in Australia, turns into a dangerous, gloomy journey and something out of an early drunken draft written by Roland Emmerich: “Crab apocalypse” or something like that. ![]() It is the cold and commanding voice of a Polish woman…narrating a documentary about wildlife (animals) on Our Planet. A female voice takes me on a journey that has me on the edge of A Clockwork Orange’s Ludovico treatment. I am distraught, chaotic thoughts running through my head like ghosts from a bad Blumhouse horror movie. ![]()
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